Small Hope

I don't think people care
I don't think I'm important
to anyone or anything
I'm scared to let
anyone in
afraid they would
complain and roll their eyes
about me and my never-ending issues
afraid they would get tired
of reminding me over and over again
about how important I am
that people really do care
I need to be reminded
of such wonderful things
or else I would find myself
doubting and falling again
no matter how much I want
to make myself believe.
I find myself sitting
and pondering
about why I
always have to take
things to the extreme?
Do I enjoy
playing the role
of being the one suffering?
Am I just
fooling myself
in believing
that I'm worth
a notice?
I'm suddenly
finding myself
starting to believe
that I am important
that the world would grieve
that people really do care
of a small existance
like me
how small that
hope and thought seems
As I cling to that hope
because I know
that I don't want to be
the one suffering
I don't want
to take things to
the extreme...
As I sit here and wonder
if anybody would help me...